Happy New Year!

As I crawl out of bed at 12:15 pm, I am astonished by the possibilities of my life. Sure, most days I am frustrated by my current situation, but I should be honest with myself. All of my current situations are a result of my decisions. That means, I can change almost every aspect of my life I am unhappy with including my job, my home, my weight (obviously, already working on that). Anything I want to change will take time and hard work, but having gastric bypass surgery has proven something to me. I am capable of being more disciplined than I ever thought possible. Sure, it's fear of getting sick that drives me, but I am still driven. If I trust in God and don't rely simply on my own resources, I can achieve a LOT more than I am now. And that is what I want. I have a good job, a decent place to live, and have already lost 113 pounds. Do I want more? Absolutely. Why? Because it's possible. My job is good, but there is more to me than this job. The place I live, it's roomy, but with lots of problems. My weight - well, I am so happy with my achievement, but I'm not ready to stop losing weight because I still have about 80 pounds to go to reach my goal.

I want to make it understood that I am extremely grateful for my blessings, and I have been very blessed. But I feel a drive to achieve more with my life than what I am doing now. I have always felt a need to exceed the norm, and I have always felt God instilled that in me for a reason. I don't need to be rich, famous, or powerful to do this. But I feel that my life was meant to be something different than what it is now. I don't feel like I was supposed to work in a cube farm environment doing the same thing day in and day out. But maybe I am. I don't think I am explaining this very well, and I don't want to sound like a snob. I think it boils down to this: I've heard all my life that when God gives you a gift, He intends for you to use it. I think that's true with our personalities, too. If God gives you a creative thought process, He expects you to channel it and use it, just like an artistic talent. I am very rarely using any of those gifts, especially in the job I have now. I just feel there has to be a way to use my personality and talents in a job that will suit me and help others. This year, I will spend a lot of time in prayer about it. And I think I'm going to try to go back to school and finish my degree so I have more options. Please pray with me about this. Your prayers are also much appreciated as is your friendship.

The one thing in my life I don't want to change (except maybe to add to it) is my network of friends and family that have been such wonderful support and love in my life! Thank you all for being there for me. I sincerely hope I can bring to your lives what you bring to mine.

And lastly this morning, in response to a previous comment, I'll briefly mention last night's party. I have to admit, I obviously and not well yet because one bout of the Electric Slide (stop giggling) sent me into a small coughing fit. But I recovered, and the night was a great success! My cousin had invited so many people she had a whole table full of guests, which was great because we had a blast. The DJ was funny. He actually got almost everyone to do the Hokey Pokey. Yes, I know. I haven't done that since the last time I went to the rollerskating rink that is now closed. It made me a little skeptical, but actually it was a pretty good icebreaker. I learned a new line dance and met a lot of people. I was coaxed to croak out some karaoke even with my cold. Then I coaxed my whole table into getting onstage with me to sing "My Boyfriend's Back." Near midnight, after a lot of dancing and talking, the crowd had kinda settled into seats at tables. A small group started dancing and singing to some music from Grease. I managed to get my roommate to go up with me and the DJ got involved with the dance shoving the microphone into my face to sing the girl's part from "Summer Nights." This startled me into almost choking on and then swallowing my gum. Goodbye, Mint Mojito gum! It was hilarious. A good night to be sure! At midnight, I didn't kiss anyone (to answer someone's question), but I hugged a lot of people and got a kiss on the cheek from a stranger. We watched some fireworks and went home. I had a great time. And am so happy to remember that I can. And to be sure, I DANCED and DANCED! By the end of the night, I was worn out, and I slept until after noon, but it was worth it!

I hope everyone had a wonderful evening, and I sincerely hope that 2009 is a better year than 2008 for everyone I know. Happy New Year, everyone!