Trip

When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot - but I always found them. -Rodney Dangerfield

Last weekend, I drove to North Myrtle Beach with my friend, T, to see my mother, stepfather, and younger siblings. I had not been to North Myrtle Beach since Thanksgiving of 2007 so it had been a while since I had seen them. T and I got up early and met them at the North Myrtle Beach St. Patrick's Day Parade (YouTube video to be added soon). We really had a good time. The parade there is VERY family friendly and all the participants throw green beads or candy for the most part. My little brother racked up on candy and even though he is sixteen, he wolfed it down and couldn't eat supper. Pretty funny, really. He and I also spent some time bonding over a PlayStation 2 game called Return to Castle Wolfenstein: Operation Resurrection. Video games are an area in which my younger siblings and I have always connected. When I was a kid, I had a Nintendo (Not a Nintendo 64 or any of that mess, just a plain old Nintendo). That was probably the beginning of the end for me. I have been addicted to games ever since. I have gone through a couple of consoles, but mostly play games on my computer now. When the younger siblings and I would play games, my years of console playing would always show and I would pretty much whoop up on any game they were trying to defeat. But Saturday night, I realized the controls for the PS2 are quite different, and I had a really difficult time aiming. My younger brother looked perplexed as he watched me. Finally, I said, "It's weird to watch me struggle so much with a game, isn't it?" He admitted that it was. I explained how different the controls were to what I had been used to in the past. He nodded, and we continued playing. It made me think, though, about how we get these ideals in our heads for people we know especially when we are young. We put them on certain pedestals and expect them to stay there forever, but with age and maturity, we learn those standards are impossible. And the people we might have idolized when we were young are still just human beings. I hope that seeing that made my little brother think of me in a different way. Our age difference has always made our relationship non-traditional for siblings anyway. Maybe seeing me struggle with the controller will remind him, however, that I am a fallible sister and not a gaming goddess. Anyone I've ever playing Enemy Territory online with could already testify to that. :-)

The Odyssey of the Wondrous Sleep Machine

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars. -Les Brown

Since being diagnosed with sleep apnea, I have been put on an APAP machine to wear at night. It works like a CPAP only its airflow is low until the person wearing it stops breathing and then it increases to compensate. I have struggled with it the last week. It takes some getting used to, but I can tell a difference already. I got up on time this morning and not only had time to take my morning shower and get dress (which is usually all I have time for), I was able to do my hair and makeup and have a little time to post this. What a wonder! Isn't God good? If I had not prayed about the gastric bypass and decided to pursue it, I would probably not have been tested for apnea and not have started using the APAP. God's blessings are overwhelming, and I see Him so at work in my life. I am so thankful.

Restructuring My Head

Change your thoughts and you change your world. -Norman Vincent Peale

Yesterday I saw the counselor in charge of my prescreening exam for the gastric bypass surgery. I really liked her, and left her office encouraged. While she gave me the thumbs up for the surgery, she also gave me some advice. Some of the advice I already knew, but I have not been applying it to myself. I mentioned how difficult it is going to be for me to give up my southern sweet tea (it's like crack), and she stopped me almost mid-sentence. "If you tell yourself that, it will be hard, but you can convince yourself this is no big thing." I remember when Dr. Phil first came on the scene, and he talked about having tapes running in your head. The idea made sense to me. If you are constantly telling yourself you are worthless, you will believe it. So if I keep running this tape in my head that says, "Giving up ____ will be hard," then it will be. But if I keep telling myself that the item is just a thing I can take or leave, I will have control over the thing instead of the thing having control over me. Isn't this kind of what faith is about? God says believe, and it shall be. Mind you, that is not a direct quote, but you know what I mean. God tells us to ask for what we want and have faith. He doesn't say ask for what you want and then think about how it won't really happen. God is a wonderful, loving Father who wants to share His gifts with us. So I need to change the tapes in my head and put my faith in God.