So Long, Bea Arthur...

I'm so sorry to hear about her death. She seemed like a fine lady. And I am still a devout Golden Girls fan. Watching it in bed right now. Sexy, right? Left work sick today. Hoping it's not Swine Flu. Having lots of sinus issues this spring. More than ever. I wonder why. Oh well. This is probably pretty rambly. I hate feeling sick. I hate dating too. It's nerveracking. It feels like this crazy guessing game. No one ever says what they really mean. Not to mention it's easy to get your own feelings and emotions all mixed up and twisted around. Which might be why it's hard to gauge what other people are thinking because maybe they're as mixed up as well. Dating when you're young and single is difficult. Dating when your older and divorced is crappy. But I still want romance and the chance to meet someone who can be special. I guess this is what everyone has to go through to meet the right person. Maybe? I don't know. Honestly, I didn't do a lot of dating prior to my marriage and frankly, I have a lot more options since I've lost so much weight. It's not right, but it's reality. I feel like I'm drifting in completely uncharted territory. And I get lots of advice (conflicting, I might add). Hrmmm... It's the illness. Just one of those days. When I feel better, everything will be rosy again.

Rudy

Rudy was on last night. I caught part of it. Still one of my all time favorite movies. And it IS my favorite sports movie though it's really more about overcoming the odds and following a dream. I love Rudy because he's such an underdog, and in true American fashion, I almost always cheer the underdog. That's because I identify with them - the underdogs, that is. I believe most of us are underestimated. Maybe we underestimate ourselves, but the capacity for great things is probably there, and we just don't tap into it. I especially believe this as a Christian, not because I believe in my strength or goodness, but I believe in God's strength and goodness. And God can work through all of us if we let Him. More is possible in this life than we like to allow ourselves to believe.

On a side note, the real Rudy spoke at my high school when the movie came out. And his speech made me feel like I could accomplish anything, and I mean ANYTHING. It was fantastic. If you still haven't seen this movie, buy it.

Move Along, Move Along, Like I Know You Do

Lyrics from a song I've heard recently. The title has nothing to do with anything.

Last night, I came home from work in a melancholy mood. I just felt blah and depressed. I couldn't even tell you why. The dreary rain probably didn't help. So my roommate and I decided to go out and do something. We went to Panera bread at Sandhills and had supper. Then we walked in the mist to the Books-A-Million. We went our separate ways almost immediately to browse for a while. I LOVE magazines. I really do. I love books too, but I have a strange connection with magazines. I think it's my short attention span. Anyway, I found myself moping along the back wall of magazines and thinking about how many magazines there are for all different types of people. I looked at the people walking around the magazines. A dad pushing a stroller of a sleeping baby, a sports junkie, a middle-aged woman scouring the home improvement mags... I thought about how dowdy I must look. Jeans, blue and white button up shirt, gray sweater, and a baseball cap - I looked like a bag lady. And I wonder why I don't meet more people. I think I have body issues, but I might be scaring people off subconsciously with my homeless person attire. I have to think about that. Anyway, it was a nice evening of book/magazine browsing and people watching. Usually this would be where I insert my deep thought about this event, but today, I want to just be. No deep thoughts. I've been thinking WAY too much lately.