Love Stinks

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? -- Lily Tomlin

Well, well, it's about that time again. Time for me to whine and moan about romance. I do this just every so often. I had stopped for a while when I was married, but since the divorce, I find myself falling back into the routine. Meet someone (or a couple of someones), spend time with them, get excited about the possibility, get rejected or learn something unwanted, get mad at the world. This is how I operate. I would say it's working for me, but..ahem...maybe not. I suppose it's just life, and there's no reason to be mad at the world. Just the same, although I had been excited about the prospect of dating again, I think I'm going to take a break. I've just been dating for a few weeks, but once you get a couple of guys in the mix, well, it just gets exhausting. Who likes what? Who works where? Who's not a serial killer? I mean, who can remember all this stuff? Some days I look at myself in the mirror and struggle to remember my name.

Anyway, the living history at Kings Mountain was fantastic! We watched movies in the amphitheater and had popcorn in our helmets before camping out in tents only to rise early and greet the public. I was fortunate enough to actually be able to speak to a couple of WWII vets, and it made the whole thing worthwhile! Come see my guys at the Charlotte Museum of History this Saturday from 10 - 5.

Long Time, No Speak

I have been looking for a smart, relevant quote for today's blog, but it was taking too long, and I need to get to work. Sorry, readers, you're missing out on a quote today. You'll probably forgive me. I hope so anyway.

My life has been a whirlwind lately. I have been out of town for the last two weekends and will be out of town next weekend as well. I have enjoyed the last two weekends as they were family related, but I am looking forward to next weekend...Kings Mountain - Military through History! My WWII re-enacting group will be heading there to participate. They said this was a great event last year, and I am looking forward to being involved this year. If you can make it out there, by all means, go! It should be great. There will be quality re-enactors from several time periods. And, of course, moi!

I will have more to post this afternoon, but for now, I just wanted to put a little plug out there for me and my boys. :-)

Swine Flu and more!

I don't really have much to say about the swine flu (H1 N1 or whatever). I just wanted to hop on the hype bandwagon. SWINE FLU?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There. Now I can be considered part of the media.

On a more serious note, I've been trying to do less thinking lately and more living based on instinct and gut. What have I learned? Well, I might overthink things, but that's probably better than the not thinking at all decision. I don't feel like myself to fly by the seat of my pants and never think anything through. I mean, yes, I have been known to make spontaneous decisions, but then I think and think and think about it afterwards - usually in an effort to clean up whatever mess I made. Haha! I'm not a kid anymore, but I'm also not a senior citizen reflecting on a long life well lived. I have a lot to do and accomplish, and I just want to make the most of the time I have. My most frequent prayer lately is for wisdom to know God's will and to simply have more wisdom in general. I know to err is human, but do I have to make so MANY mistakes?

So Long, Bea Arthur...

I'm so sorry to hear about her death. She seemed like a fine lady. And I am still a devout Golden Girls fan. Watching it in bed right now. Sexy, right? Left work sick today. Hoping it's not Swine Flu. Having lots of sinus issues this spring. More than ever. I wonder why. Oh well. This is probably pretty rambly. I hate feeling sick. I hate dating too. It's nerveracking. It feels like this crazy guessing game. No one ever says what they really mean. Not to mention it's easy to get your own feelings and emotions all mixed up and twisted around. Which might be why it's hard to gauge what other people are thinking because maybe they're as mixed up as well. Dating when you're young and single is difficult. Dating when your older and divorced is crappy. But I still want romance and the chance to meet someone who can be special. I guess this is what everyone has to go through to meet the right person. Maybe? I don't know. Honestly, I didn't do a lot of dating prior to my marriage and frankly, I have a lot more options since I've lost so much weight. It's not right, but it's reality. I feel like I'm drifting in completely uncharted territory. And I get lots of advice (conflicting, I might add). Hrmmm... It's the illness. Just one of those days. When I feel better, everything will be rosy again.

Rudy

Rudy was on last night. I caught part of it. Still one of my all time favorite movies. And it IS my favorite sports movie though it's really more about overcoming the odds and following a dream. I love Rudy because he's such an underdog, and in true American fashion, I almost always cheer the underdog. That's because I identify with them - the underdogs, that is. I believe most of us are underestimated. Maybe we underestimate ourselves, but the capacity for great things is probably there, and we just don't tap into it. I especially believe this as a Christian, not because I believe in my strength or goodness, but I believe in God's strength and goodness. And God can work through all of us if we let Him. More is possible in this life than we like to allow ourselves to believe.

On a side note, the real Rudy spoke at my high school when the movie came out. And his speech made me feel like I could accomplish anything, and I mean ANYTHING. It was fantastic. If you still haven't seen this movie, buy it.

Move Along, Move Along, Like I Know You Do

Lyrics from a song I've heard recently. The title has nothing to do with anything.

Last night, I came home from work in a melancholy mood. I just felt blah and depressed. I couldn't even tell you why. The dreary rain probably didn't help. So my roommate and I decided to go out and do something. We went to Panera bread at Sandhills and had supper. Then we walked in the mist to the Books-A-Million. We went our separate ways almost immediately to browse for a while. I LOVE magazines. I really do. I love books too, but I have a strange connection with magazines. I think it's my short attention span. Anyway, I found myself moping along the back wall of magazines and thinking about how many magazines there are for all different types of people. I looked at the people walking around the magazines. A dad pushing a stroller of a sleeping baby, a sports junkie, a middle-aged woman scouring the home improvement mags... I thought about how dowdy I must look. Jeans, blue and white button up shirt, gray sweater, and a baseball cap - I looked like a bag lady. And I wonder why I don't meet more people. I think I have body issues, but I might be scaring people off subconsciously with my homeless person attire. I have to think about that. Anyway, it was a nice evening of book/magazine browsing and people watching. Usually this would be where I insert my deep thought about this event, but today, I want to just be. No deep thoughts. I've been thinking WAY too much lately.

Going, going, going...nah...

A couple of posts ago, I wrote about my exhaustion. My life has been so busy lately in good and bad ways. Today, I went to church and then I LOUNGED - napping on and off and watching reruns of America's Next Top Model. It has been delicious! Wow, I needed to recoup and am glad I took advantage of this afternoon.

So why did I need to recoup? Well, I've been away from home for the last few weekends with WWII re-enactments and visiting friends and loved ones. It's been a blast, but sometimes a person just needs to veg out. But I'm so thankful for the things I've been able to do recently.

On a different note, I wanted to mention that I've been single for a couple of months now and have entered the scary world of dating. So I've been asking advice from lots of different people in different areas of my life. I think it's crazy that men joke about never figuring women out when I think men are much more complicated to decipher. I need a translator sometimes. And yet, I persist. But the one thing I have decided upon re-entering the dating scene is that no one really knows anything about it. You really can't base any judgement on pop culture or media because it's not real. But each person's experience is so unique and different that advice doesn't seem to help anyone else. How many dates makes a relationship? When should you consider being exclusive? Why hasn't this person asked me out? Should I ask them? Should I call, text, or email? Is it too early to give a gift? What is over the top? Am I being too clingy? Am I being too distant? There are a gazillion articles about dating on the internet addressing these issues. And everyone has an opinion, so I'm stating mine. There is not a right answer. What one person might find clingy, another might find romantic. Maybe one person is sick of getting texts, but another person really likes them. Maybe that person is waiting for an invite instead of inviting the other person. It's so complicated. I think the best thing to do is act the way that feels natural to you and hope you meet someone who appreciates you for you. Trying to fit a mold is a mistake. If I do what is natural to me and someone doesn't dig it, then it's time to move on anyway. Trying to be something I'm not is just not going to work. And it's really exhausting. I find it tiring enough just to deal with being me. I don't have time to be something or someone else. And I like feeling like what you see is what you get. I love to play games, but not in relationships - romantic or otherwise. Who has time for it? If you have time for it, you have too much free time and need a hobby.