I Am Not Alone

It's been five years since my last post, and I've debated with whether or not to continue this blog since I have trouble with being consistent with it.

But this morning, as I was sitting at the kitchen table and drinking my coffee, I started thinking about how blessed I am, and I just had to share it.

You see, I have been struggling with one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life - a decision that would not only impact me but also everyone close to me. I've prayed and wept and prayed and asked other to pray and prayed some more and wept some more. This choice has been eating me alive. I've been sick. I haven't been sleeping well. I've gained seven pounds (thanks, steroids). I haven't been a good friend or family member to people, and all my focus has been on what I should do.

Here's the thing about being solely focused on self, though. We lose sight of God and His will. I was praying for God's will (and still am), but then I spent all day and night searching my own wisdom. Now, I'm not saying that in times of decision that I don't think God expects us not to use the earthly tools He gives us, but we also have to trust Him.

So I made a decision last week based on what I felt like God was leading me to do, and, finally, I felt some peace. Things are still going to be tough. None of the options in this scenario would be easy so even this decision has risks and challenges, but I recently watched a video from a Christian teacher who said, "If God calls you, He will equip you."

Friends, I have been soul-searching, struggling, and depressed, but I have not been alone. God is pulling me through this, and I am so grateful. I hope this song blesses you today the way it has been blessing me through this time.

Eavesdropping at work

Lately, circumstances have dictated my need to work in the actual office instead of from my home.  When in the office, I typically play music through headphones and drown out distractions.  Today, I had not yet put the headphones on my ears and heard someone say, "If you don't look out for yourself, no one else will."  How many times have I said that!  Hearing that made me ashamed.  I'm not, nor should I be, first.  Christ should be first.  Showing His love should be my priority.  I am so guilty of forgetting that.  What a reminder today.

Boston, Texas, and more

The Lord is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble; And He knows those who trust in Him. (Nahum 1:7 NKJV)

My last post on this blog was in 2011. Where does the time go? I haven't written here in a long time because I've been assaulted with the idea, "Who am I to say anything?" Well, I'm not perfect. I make a lot of mistakes, but I love the Lord and still want to encourage people with what encourages me.

In light of this week's events, I have struggled, like so many people, to make sense of these tragedies in Boston and Texas. The destruction, in both places, is hard to fathom. I won't pretend to understand why these things happen. It's one of those questions most Christians wrestle with on a regular basis. I don't have a good answer other than to say I'm not God. My mind is finite, limited. I cannot see all things or understand His bigger plan. What I do know, is God is still there. God is still with us if we draw near to Him

Someone said to me this week, "I just don't know how much more of this I can stand." My response is what it always is in these dark times. It won't always be like this. If we believe the Bible (and I do), our hope lies in His promise that Jesus will return. The world will be made new. This life is just a blip in comparison to the eternity He has promised us as His children.

In the interim, God shows us He still empowers people to help one another. He empowered bystanders and first responders to leap over barricades and tear them down to reach the wounded. He empowered people to share their coats and homes and food. That's just the tip of the iceberg in Boston. We don't even know the heroic stories that will come out of Texas. We all still need to allow God to empower us to help victims of both tragedies. The opportunity is before us to rise to the challenge and show God's love until He returns. Let's stand in God's love and share that love with those who need us in their darkest hours. Pray and look for ways to help. The medical bills will be horrific for people at both sites. And so many in Texas will have lost everything - homes, clothes, possessions. We can help. In the coming days, reputable organizations like Samaritan's Purse and the American Red Cross will be sending aid. Look at these organizations to see how we can help.

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/
http://www.redcross.org/news/press-release/Red-Cross-Response-Efforts-Continue-in-Texas-and-Boston

Struggling with Forgiveness

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9 NASB

I think most Christian struggle with the idea of forgiveness. And I think the hardest part of forgiveness sometimes is forgiving ourselves. I'm constantly telling people who talk to me about this how if we pray in a truly remorseful way to ask for forgiveness, God forgives. Then we must forgive ourselves. But in light of poor decisions I have made recently, now I have to try to follow my own advice. I hate the feeling of being separated from God by my own sins and the feeling that I have no right to talk to God. But this morning, I was thinking about my own advice. I have already prayed about these things. If God will forgive me, who am I to continue to rake myself over the coals? My friend, Eric Horner, has a song that says, "What's done is done." Thank God He is faithful, and the past is the past. Today is a new day by the grace of the Lord.

Anger and Sin

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger - Ephesians 4:26 NASB

While I saw people on the news who were supposedly happy with the outcome of the Casey Anthony trial yesterday, I don't know anyone in my realm of reality that agreed with that. God is the author of justice. So yesterday's verdict angers us, because it doesn't seem like justice. I could launch into a diatribe now about how flawed our legal system is and how morally corrupt our world is, but we are all aware of these facts. The question now is, how do we handle these facts?

I struggle with this idea a lot. How can we be angry and not sin? How do we still enjoy God's peace and fight injustice at the same time? How do we reconcile the idea of an all-powerful God and injustice we see everyday? I am not the first to ask this question. I will not be the last. And I think this is one of the hardest questions of the Christian Faith. I truly wish I could offer an answer that would completely satisfy this problem. I don't have a plain answer. What I have is faith.

I believe that God is ultimately in control, but I believe He has chosen to give mankind freewill - freewill that we misuse constantly. But I also believe that God's promise to always be with us, to never leave nor forsake us, is real. Bad things happen, but God never abandons us. I can't imagine how much worse any of this would be without God. I have been through very dark times in my life. There were times when I was so angry with God for letting things happen to me that were awful and unfair. But God never left me. Now I know that He carried me through those times. He comforts me even now.

May 21st - the End of the World?

But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone. Matthew 24:36 NASB

So why do people keep insisting they know when the world is going to end? Well, I don't know the answer to that question either. I have seen billboards and vehicles displaying this end of the world on May 21st warning all over the place. Frankly, it makes my blood boil. Jesus warned us that people would try to predict the date of His return, but every time I hear or see someone actually do it, I'm annoyed. There are some ideas in the Bible that have difficult interpretations. This is not one of them.

But this warning did start me to thinking. What if tomorrow was the day Jesus returns? How would we treat today differently? What would we do out of our normal routine? If you had to stand face to face with Jesus Christ tomorrow, how would it affect the words that you speak today? How would that affect the choices you make today? Would you spend time reading your Bible? Would you make time to pray? Would you tell your family members you love them? Would you try to help someone in need?

We don't know the day and time, and the Bible calls us to always be ready. Instead of continuing to fester in annoyance at these doomsayers, I think I'll just try to remember that they don't know and neither do I so I better live each day as if tomorrow is THE day. And this way, I can trust God for the peace that only He can give.

I'm Not Dead

But I don't know about what to write. It's one of those times when everything seems to be in total chaos. The world is a scary place right now, there's no denying that. As if people aren't frightening enough, it's as if nature has turned against us as well. Tornadoes, tsunamis, earthquakes, floods, and more. What can we do against this kind of overwhelming discord? In these times, it's easy to allow ourselves to get tangled up in worry and stress. I certainly do it from time to time. I will get so stressed I almost forget to breathe. I find myself holding my breath at my desk at work. I have to remind myself to inhale and exhale in long, slow breaths. It usually clears my head.

So what do we do? How do we handle this? I don't have the answers other than what helps me. Prayer is powerful. I try to make it my first line of defense. No matter how crazy the world seems, I know God is still there and listens to His children's prayers. How can we then put feet to these prayers?

First, we have to remember that we can control ourselves and our reactions, but not those around us. We can't bend others to our will. We cannot control this world, only how we react to it.

Second, we should diligently do what is before us. I work in a stressful environment right now. Everyday, I come in and face an unreasonable amount of work for any one person. All I can do is pick up one thing at a time and do it. Eventually, the storm will pass, but until then, I will do what I can do, go home, and not think about it past that.

Third, I feel strongly about helping people so I volunteer and donate to causes I feel do good work. It makes me feel like I'm doing something to help. It makes me feel less powerless in this crazy world.

This is not a fool-proof recipe, and I certainly fail at this from time to time, but these things help me. And I practice to get better at them everyday. If I remember and employ nothing else, I will pray and remember God hears and answers.